How to Deal with Rejection
Rejection is redirection.
Sometimes it can hit us hard when we aren’t expecting it. Like someone has poked a stick into the ribs when we weren’t (are we ever?) ready. And sometimes, we expect it. We do all we can to protect ourselves from the pain but it hurts just as bad anyway.
Rejection can come in two forms. Firstly, it can be real objective rejection which comes from stimulus - the ‘I want to leave you’ or the ‘sorry you didn’t make the cut for X opportunity.’ Which in reality, is only rejection if you choose it to be. The second, is the form of self rejection. Where we actually experience the feeling of perceived rejection without reason or stimulus; for example, being let down, hurt or uninvited, where we make the situation mean something about our worth. This rejection is the one that hurts, however ironically we are the ones that are rejecting ourselves.
When we give our power away to the external circumstance and let it dictate who we are, whatever we let it mean about ourselves to be true - will make it true. If we believe rejection is to do with our ability to be a ‘worthy’ person, then we are giving our complete power away to the stimulus on the other side. That stimulus (whether they are intentionally or unintentionally trying to inflict pain) will be only doing it from a place of their own subconscious beliefs of what is true for them.
Often the thought of rejection is more painful than the actual experience itself. The fear of rejection is projected feelings of self worth, not ‘enough’ or insecurity, and it holds power over our ability to have faith in our ability to receive and expand. The experience of ‘projecting’ fear or insecurity onto situations, often creates a feeling of further imagined insecurity and thus creating unnecessary feelings of rejection, or eventually can lead to even further rejection. If we are coming from this place, our subconscious mind looks to validate these beliefs in scenarios to reinforce what we believe to be true about ourselves.
Sometimes staring at the beast in the eyes is the best way to take its power away.
Rejection is never about us specifically. It doesn’t mean that we are lesser than, less worthy of receiving love, or less capable of achieving. It means that opportunity or direction is not right for us. It means that something better really is coming. Try to see that the ‘feelings’’ of rejection are not truth, and you have the power to turn it into something positive.
Energetically, as we expand our self worth and value from within it takes away the opportunity to be rejected or validated externally for our worth. When we whole-heartedly believe that we are worthy of our highest potential, we no longer see rejection as a negative experience and rather a feeling of ‘their loss, must not be right for me either’ (usually hindsight always provides this clarity).
Rejection is a re-direction to something better, trust in your value and have faith that your next opportunity will arrive before you know it. Redirect the energy of rejection into giving yourself the love and healing you deserve.
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Olivia Scott is a qualified reiki healer in Auckland, plus a life and business coach, author, podcast host & speaker. Get in touch here.