6 Ways to Implement Daily Self-Love rituals
I spoke to friend and Psychologist Bridget McNamara about real self love: what it is, what it actually does to our brain neurologically, and practical steps to implement more self compassion to our daily lives.
Bridget is a registered psychologist, yoga teacher and meditation teacher.
Bridget believes that living a healthy, meaningful and fulfilling life should be at the core of human existence. She is holistic in her approach – providing support services that strive to enhance and maintain physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health.
Her main goal is to educate, support and empower everyone she works with. She is committed to helping people realise their own potential and achieve vibrant health and wellbeing!
What really is self compassion?
Treating yourself and speaking to yourself like you would someone you love and deeply care about. I believe that we have become very skilled as judging and criticising ourselves for perceived inadequacies and shortcomings. Self-compassion is when we speak to ourselves and treat ourselves gently - with patience, kindness and understanding.
Why is it important? Now more than ever?
Because so many of us are our own worst critics. All too often I hear of people being so cruel and unkind to themselves, treating and speaking to themselves far worse than they would ever dream of treating their worst enemy! Of course, social media is not helpful in terms of emphasising our perceived shortcomings / inadequacies and comparison with others.
How can you implement self-love in daily rituals?
Catch yourself out when you hear your inner critic making judgements and criticisms and ask yourself, how would I speak to a good friend, someone I deeply care about, a small child
Journaling – keeping a self-compassion journal
Visualise and welcome in love / self-compassion / loving-kindness into your whole body, the felt sense of these emotions
Practice forgiveness toward yourself
Daily mindfulness / meditation practice
Touch – e.g. placing a hand on your heart and say a kind phrase to yourself
What does self love / compassion do neurologically to the brain?
Leading self-compassion researcher, Kristin Neff, attributes the positive effects of self-compassion to the mammalian caregiving system. This system likely evolved to help us bond with other humans and take care of children. When we place a hand on our hearts for example, we trigger the release of oxytocin. Oxytocin, sometimes called the love hormone, has been linked to feelings of generosity and trust. Further, self-compassion has been found to activate similar brain regions to those we use when expressing compassion and empathy towards others.
Self-criticism, however, activates our amygdala, the part of our brain that responds to threats. This simulation causes the release of adrenaline and cortisol (our stress hormones), which prepare us to run away or fight a threat. Elevated cortisol levels, caused by ongoing stress, have been shown to affect memory, lower immune function, and put people at risk for a host of diseases including heart disease and depression.
How can self compassion help with anxiety and depression?
This is a weighted question but in relation to self-compassion, research suggests that there is a strong link between people who are unkind or self-critical of themselves and depression and anxiety.
How can we build a better relationship with ourselves?
Implementing daily self-love or self-compassion practices including building self-awareness of our inner critic.
Why is it important to take care of our mental health from a young age?
Because we all have mental health. Keeping on top of our mental health is something we need to be constantly mindful of, and constantly working at. I always say it’s like training for an eternal marathon.
How can we teach our children compassion?
By being positive role models in how we show ourselves compassion and teaching young people self-compassion practices.
Connect with Bridget
@spiritwellbeing
www.spiritwellbeing.co.nz
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Olivia Scott is a qualified reiki healer in Auckland, plus a life and business coach, author, podcast host & speaker. Get in touch here.