7 Reasons Why We Should Get to Know Our Shadows
Lockdown has left us with an abundance of time and space that we usually don’t have the luxury to indulge in. In this space we are meeting new parts of ourselves, remembering old parts of ourselves, and perhaps finding clarity through moments of stillness. In this space, we are also confronted with the things we don’t usually have the time to entertain, or perhaps often choose not to - especially the parts we don’t feel comfortable exploring.
Often times, leaning into our discomfort, pain, or fragility feels counter-productive in a society where we feel like we should be striving for the next best thing or a quick endorphin release. Why would we go down the rabbit hole of exploring our inner discomforts and shadows, when we could be choosing something a lot easier, quicker, and instantly gratifying. What is interesting however, is that our shadows, inner discomforts and pains, actually project or manifest into reality without us consciously choosing, or realising. When we are able to take the time to look at our inner world, we can sort through what’s going on, on a deeper level and clean up what we are consciously and subconsciously creating through our patterns.
Here are a few benefits of why questioning our inner world will benefits us in the longer term:
Self awareness and deeper connection to self. As we ask ourself self inquiry questions, through journalling, mental processing and talking, we begin to shine light on parts of ourself we haven’t seen or given time to get to know before. As we do this, we begin to build a deeper connection to all parts of ourselves, the good, the neutral, the bad. Essentially our inner world is neutral until we add meaning and emotion to it. When we can become the observer of our inner world, and look at things through a lens of neutrality and non-attachment we begin to realise we can control the narrative of our inner world. This gives us the power to create new meanings, that serve our highest good, and that serve our future.
Know our triggers/identify emotional patterns and behaviours. When we start to understand what triggers us, we can then understand when our environment is simply just triggering past pains/hurts/events rather than it being the situation or person in front of us. This allows the situation in front of us to no longer hold so much power, as we can take a step back and know that we aren’t a victim to whats going on, but rather look at the situation or person in with fresh eyes or awareness.
Self healing and Compassion. As we create a deeper curiosity towards our inner world, we can start to introduce a greater connection to who we are the core. As humans we are an entire spectrum of highs, lows, wins, losses, triumphs, failures. When we honour that we are all of this, and that there is no right or wrong, we open space for mistakes and failures to happen. When we can let go of control here, we are able to be more compassionate when ‘failures or losses’ do happen. Introducing love and compassion to all parts of our selves, including the shadows, allows us to heal and forgive ourselves.
Greater empathy towards others. As we go inwards and look at our wounds, and process what is coming up, we invite in honesty and transparency to what’s really going on internally, rather than avoiding or blocking. This in turn allows us to look at ourselves with vulnerability which allows us to see and honour this in other people. Processing our own darkness means that we can hold space for others when they are going through tough times too.
Self Acceptance and Confidence. The sooner we can learn to accept and love who we really are, the less restriction and resistance we will experience in daily life. As we learn to accept ourselves, we spend less time comparing ourselves to others, less time seeking external validation, and less time focusing on our outward appearances. As we learn to nurture and nourish who we really are, this becomes enough. This is enough.
Clarity of future. If you think of going inwards as mental, emotional and spiritual hygiene, you can see how this creates space for inviting in the new. When we work on cleaning and loving all parts of ourselves, shadows and all, we allow the power of our past to fall away. We allow old situations to no longer have control over us. This in turn allows us to see new opportunities, from a space of greater alignment and connection to self. It gives us confidence that there are new possibilities always available to us, when we choose to see them.
If you would like to learn how to go deeper with getting to know yourself - here are a few ways to start:
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Olivia Scott is a qualified reiki healer in Auckland, plus a life and business coach, author, podcast host & speaker. Get in touch here.